A sad concession

This past Friday I had an appointment scheduled with my eye doc,who wanted to do another test.... however, the last time he wanted to do this test, the camera he needed was not functioning, so Friday morning I called and asked if that camera was working and they said "no"...they said I could still go in for a follow-up...but since it costs me $40 for a copays I declined. My friend who was to drive me said she would take me anyway to a new health food store we have been wanting to visit. It was an hour and a half drive which was hard on me. We got there at lunchtime so we ordered some fancy food at a pizza place. It was delicious. Then we walked two stores over to the health food store. I was so very glad I'd brought my rollator walker.. in the store ,I put my basket on the seat of the walker and walked slowly thru the store. By this time all I wanted was to be home in my bed. I bought a few things. The store was large and I only got through about two thirds of it. I sat on my walker and waited for my friend. She saw me sitting there and hurried up. Then she wanted to see the thrift store next door, so I went there too. By this time I was almost in tears. I sat on my walker there too. On the way home I reflected: I'd been wanting to make that trip for months or maybe a year....and I did NOT enjoy it ...the pain and fatigue simply were too great. This has been the case with every trip away from home lately. In the four years I've been stuck at home... this was the first time I wished I'd not gone on an outing. It's a sad admission.

I've always been a go getter...Always sucked it up and went despite the pain....and now the pain is bigger than me.It makes me want to cry. Today I am not going to church which I try to make every Sunday. Yesterday I fell down the stairs and today I am paying the price for my tumble. It's a sad day.

I hope you are better from your fall. I had the chance to go out this weeknd. Today I am in bed. I am going to try and take shorter trips.and see if that helps.

Yes purplebf..I try to find a balance, Because I no longer drive and have to find rides everywhere I go (which can be very difficult),I often have to consolidate my trips, which makes for a long, hard day. It doesn't seem that there is any good solution. If I bring my walker or wheelchair it helps....but then I have to get a big, strong guy to put it in and out of the car. My dad often drives me but he is pushing 80. I can't ask him to lift that chair.

Hi Cynthia,

I know, I have house guests here and they want to run around with a big to do list! Thankfully my husband is doing nearly all of the running and they understand that I just cannot do it. I am tired beyond belief, even though they are gone nearly all day, and I do enjoy them being here.

My mom and I were worn out just cleaning and cooking getting ready for them, turns out they don't really eat what we had made in advance, even though they said they eat anything! It's okay, but it's the strength and energy I am in trouble with!

Unfortunately you are at the mercy of others to get around, so that has to be very difficult! Spending the day with a well person is almost dangerous to us, as we just have no stamina compared to them! We're worn out just getting ready!

Hope that you have gone to the Doctor, and gotten checked, even though you do not want to! Last thing you need is for something to exacerbate your health status!

I don't have all of the answers, but I certainly do understand just what you are talking about! Hope you can soon get to a better place, my friend!

Wishing you well,